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You're assuming a certain degree of risk---of injury, of death---every time you get in a car, go skiing or order chicken. I fulfill his "man-love" fantasies by strapping it on and giving it to him, but he has started talking about wanting to have sex with men.
We do what we can to minimize those risks (buckle the fuck up, wear a helmet, don't order your chicken rare), but we don't hold up deaths on highways, slopes or at the dinner table as evidence that people who even think of driving, skiing, or chickening have to be out of their minds. I feel like a jerk for freaking out about this, but I'm not willing to entertain the emotional and physical risks of opening our relationship to another person. What The Fuck Is Wrong With Men These Days A: Do not marry this man.
Insist on a verifiable exchange of real names and real phone numbers before meeting; meet in person first, in a public place, preferably at a time when you can't mess around immediately after your first meeting.
And people seeking the services of a pro should go to one of the dozen or more established websites out there that host ads from pros along with client reviews.
If you do and you don't, well, then you may have to accept---or, more to the point, the boyfriend will have to accept---that synchronized infidelity just isn't for you.
Download Dan's Savage Lovecast (his weekly podcast) Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
Finally, people take calculated risks all the time for pleasures less essential than sex.But looking for sex online is not, as some have insisted in the wake of Weber's murder, so inherently risky a pursuit that only a lunatic would contemplate it.Unlike cars in Iraq that haven't exploded (yet), it's actually relevant that most people hooking up online aren't brutally murdered.The sad fact is that some of us will die at the hands of our intimate partners. Lots of bisexual guys are capable of monogamy, as are lots of bisexual girls.(That's what angry bisexuals are always telling me, at any rate, in their angry e-mails.) But this bisexual guy is not, and he's made that clear.