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) So with six students, we had to work our magic to get them in. So, yes, you get things that are really “in your face” and you get things that are really subtle. That was the real instigation for the radio fellow’s remarks about Asians. Let’s be honest, especially when it comes to the nightlife. Asian women who are Americans (who are born here) you might find are more confident, typically, for sure, or more social, at least. He didn’t get in his own way; he just didn’t know what to do. I’ve had boot camps where I didn’t have a single Asian guy; just white guys and black guys. I love it because it’s more than just a job for me but it is completely emotionally exhausting. [] Obviously, the answer is “I put in that work.” When I was an engineer, I was holding down a 9 to 5 job but I was also going out four to six nights, facing my fears.As one student walked away, he overheard the bouncer announce over their radio, “There’s this bunch of Asians trying to get in.” The voice on the other end replied, “We have too many Asians already; don’t let anymore get inside.” Eddy: Wow. Eddy: I didn’t know there’d be an Asian limit in a club. You have the celebrity at the top, then the hot girls and then, the hot guys, and so on and so forth. Then, for those who are immigrant Asian women, you’ll definitely find that they are more clannish, more click-ish, where you have to go and befriend their guys, befriend their friends first, because they’re going to be more resistant to outside influence unless they’ve been introduced. We call it Mondays, black Mondays because we are wiped out completely. And sometimes, those nights were so bad, I would go home and I would cry. [] Here’s this guy, doing the lowest risk thing he can do–which is working on his appearance, which I think you should do. Eddy: So, in closing, for all the Asian and Asian-Canadian communities out there–or, just say, men, in general–what would be the best way to start [with women] when you’re starting right from the bottom, “from scratch”? T.: [] I always tell everybody that they want to be successful because they’re Asian, not in spite of it; that they–(I know some people go through this growth when it’s pure–like whites acting white, but it’s more. Without the ABCs, it had been like this kid got fit with a pair of shoes for an eight-year-old and told to wear that same pair for life. I couldn’t get a date “for the life of me”, so I started studying pick up and, later on, I created the Asian Playboy blog (because, I thought, “Okay, what am I? (There’s no such thing.) It flew in the face of all these stereotypes and there’s just been this massive following until one day, when this Chinese-Canadian mother called me to help out her son. I told her, “For three days and three nights I’m going to be the big brother he never had.” and that’s how I came up with the ABCs of Attraction. He didn’t really have a lot of friends, either, so I needed to make something very simple, yet well-rounded enough for it to grow with him; something he could comprehend at age 18, as well as later on.(Not that they shouldn’t learn to interact: they should, just so they can master the different skills sets that indirect offers, but we don’t speak the language.) [] When it’s your second language, confidence is what speaks, regardless of the country you’re from: whether it’s Asia, Europe or Australia, everybody understands body language. For the Asian-American with a lot of limiting beliefs, what’s going to happen when he goes up to a white girl and says, “I think you’re beautiful”? (I remember having Matador corner me in the lobby when I had two Asian students and they asked, “Why the fuck you give these openers? China being colonized by Britain; and Viet Nam by France, and so on and so forth, where you kind of have this established hierarchy, where white is at [the] top. Eddy: So I might say, “Oh, my little Asian girlfriend…[inaudible as J. Given your basic advice about going out and saying, “hi” to people, this is the same kind of advice I give my students, as well. Eddy: Or starting a conversation with a store clerk. That it takes 28 daily repetitions for a muscle memory link to be formed. / end / [] I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident.[] I think that’s one of the primary differences: if you’re Asian and you’re watching this, throw out all that verbal stuff you’ve learned. It destroys limiting beliefs right there when she goes up to him and hugs and kisses him, right? ” And I said, “Just because I like to use direct openers.” Because their accent was so bad…[incomplete statement] Eddy: Yes. T.: [] But I’ve had this: I just tell my Fabbi students to go up and tell her she’s beautiful and they’ll do this and it works and, if I was to go up to her…[incomplete statement] If you were to go up to her…[incomplete statement] I would say, [imitates stereotypical Asian accent, “You are a fucking whore” said phonetically] “You ah fucking ho! It’s short, it’s simple and it’s really hard to mess up. Why is it a prevalent thing that Asian women and white guys always seem to be… That’s kind of carried over so you’ll get a lot of these Asian girls with these internalized belief systems. It’s funny how difficult it is for guys to follow through with that, just for that very basic level of going out and making it a morning thing. It’s really, really basic, but so many people have resistance to it, it’s almost like…[incomplete statement] It’s a subtle thing, too, but getting used to being social, in general, has always been almost like, perhaps, they’re not going to get the instant results, so why bother giving that all, why bother having conversations or saying “hello”, or making that eye contact with other people, even though it has a big impact. T.: [] Yes, exactly; it’s like socializing hasn’t been internalized, yet. They can’t simply go out one day and say, “hello” and all of a sudden, you’re used to that. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. [] But, when I moved to California, I didn’t know anything. Because [unclear] this was sort of an oxymoron, it just really stood out because there’s no such thing as an Asian playboy. Why is that–is it just because it’s a big city with lots of sun where everyone’s dressed down? (I used to go up there all the time, to test out my skill when I was completely new, out in the stand in [verify name, sp phon.] Costano Ranch.) [] People just come here from all over the world… (Actually, for our audience who may not be aware of you, could you tell a little bit more about your background and how you got into this whole thing in the first place, especially given your focus on the Asian community? The thing is, she chose me and I was baffled, completely baffled. Did he mean “subconscious” as opposed to his being “unconscious”? [Unclear] But what it did, later on, sort of dissecting my interaction with her, I unconsciously used some of these [Unclear] psychological techniques–like [inaudible word ] and all these [Unclear] other techniques. Also, I’m trying to live this sort-of playboy lifestyle, so I created the blog and it just kind of took off.

They don’t seem to have these “limiting beliefs” as well as being a second-class citizen. T.: [] Universal advice I would give that anybody can do whether you’re Asian or not, but that definitely afflicts Asians a lot more is what I call the Asian poker face. [] It’s something I stress with my students because communication is happening on multiple levels and it’s not just my words. witness studies (when it comes to things like jury selection and all that kind of stuff) where they discovered that people of different ethnic backgrounds have a difficult time telling what their race and emotional state are. Or–and I see this quite a bit–they’ll sleep with white guys and black guys but they only want to marry Asians. They’re going to sleep around, go on the cock carousel and then, they’ll settle down. But they won’t want to date Asian men who they’re going to marry, but they’re going to give a pussy to everybody else. T.: [] And it is because of the certain globalized beauty standards where white is considered more beautiful so you have these (let’s say) white guys, too, who are becoming very frustrated with this modern-day feminism where they have to treat women as equals, too. So they think, “Okay, these Asian women, they’re gaining, like–what is it? But, in reality, he’s just like some nerdy, awkward, white guy who couldn’t be successful with a white girl. Some white instructor says, “A-ha, …your Asian women…[inaudible words ] … (It happens quite a bit.) It’s just that they have their skills by practicing on these Asian women, and you see that quite a bit. Because you still have people just shipping in Asian wives and stuff like that. [incomplete statement] I kind of see it because I’m dating… And, I see no difference with her, at all, between her and a white girl, culturally. Eddy: [cont.] In their confidence level, in the way they behave… Excellence, then, is not an action; it is a habit.” Socializing is a habit that they do every day until they get to the point that when they don’t say, “hi” to a pretty girl, they feel weird. T., for coming on the show; I really enjoyed having you. Eddy: All right; I will be including a link for anybody who’s interested, as well.

They might see conservative channels coming out of the States that deny the whole thing. [incomplete statement] For example, for myself, here in Canada, I’m not… (But I’m mixed: I’m half Mexican and most people think I’m part Asian.) I’ve heard racist things about Asians or blacks directed at me, which is kind of funny. T.: [] (haha) Eddy: Even when I was a kid of 14 and playing hockey, I had a kid body smack me into the board and call me a “chink” and skate off. It was my first exposure to racism–and it wasn’t even right race. T.: [] (haha) If someone’s going to be racist, he should at least say the right racial epithet! (It made him look really stupid, although he probably didn’t know it because I didn’t get a chance to respond.) I’ve seen this here in our society…[incomplete statement] In Vancouver, it seems to come from hobos who yell weird, random, racist stuff when they’re angry at the pharmacist. It’s not anything that’s apparent or “in your face” and, one good example, actually, is a former client and president of some Fortune 500 company.

(I had no response to this because I’d never heard the term before.) Besides, I’m not Asian and it was soo… Is this something that’s really common or more something that pops up on occasion that’s not direct all the time? He had moved from some Asian country as a kid and, growing up, had not felt put upon, exactly.

He said that when he was made president, no one had held him down, but no one had helped him up, either.

Instead, he’d had to “take himself by the bootstraps” in order to be successful. So, most of the time it’s more subtle, rather than really direct and “in your face”? T.: [] Yes; as I said, it all depends on your environment. [incomplete statement] I once went to this birthday party at a bar and they (the people) were all homegrown (white). We were having a good time in this redneck/biker bar when I got up to get a beer.

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