Dating intimate uk

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Friday Been chatting to someone cute for three days now.

He’s asked to meet but he's not showing his teeth in any of the photos.

Tinder totally complements my lazy and attention-seeking personality. It usually takes me a few drinks to start talking to strangers but, thanks to my i Phone, I'm now virtu-flirting while I wee.

It's as compulsive as moodboarding baking projects on Pinterest: swipe, scroll, drool, click, reload. Wednesday The localised aspect of the app hits me tonight – at my local. I don't even need to leave my sofa to flirt, let alone risk liver damage in pursuit of enough Dutch courage to politely humour a clinger for 45 minutes.

“Misunderstandings happen,” he shrugs, before asking how I rate the date so far from one to 10.

Saturday We ended up in the sort of Soho tequila bar where dinner dates come to die.

Just think of all the money I'll save on dinner dates now I can skip straight to the unfulfilling sex ...

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On closer inspection, his pics are all selfies, which screams "I’m vain and don’t have any friends to take pics of me.” Another cutie introduces himself with a coy "heyyy" (words are stretched out on Tinder, for some reason – "How are you? ") but I note his height in comparison to his friends in group shots. Tuesday My sociopathic curiosity and appetite for constant validation are fuelled by Tinder's addictive swipe function.

I start consuming hundreds of profiles on boring journeys or in queues for a slow barista.

I keep coming back for more cheap, mindless thrills throughout the day. Online, I simply opt-in to a flirt, and if I don't respond no one gets hurt. Thursday I'm headed to Yorkshire to visit a friend for the evening and take the opportunity to spin the Tinder wheel.

It seems northern men are better at smalltalk and far more fond of vests.

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