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As 81-year-old Marie said bluntly, “it is better to not marry than to marry the wrong person.

Both my husband and I were married once before, and it took that experience to learn this lesson."Virginia, 73, described rushing into marriage as one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. "So there was this fellow I’d been going with, and we up and got married the week I turned 18.

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Learn to love who you are, not who others would have you be. Learn to be comfortable with your feelings, no matter what they are.

And one person can say, 'I really want children.' The other one says, 'Well, I’m not sure' and they let it go. But many older women in the study emphasized “choose very carefully” as a lesson — and one they wished to pass on to younger women wondering the big question: Should I stay or should I go?

This year I turned 40, and along with the realization that I’m now middle-aged (ack!

I heard from elders who made a wrong choice: “If only I’d listened when people told me this was a bad decision.” Write down an actual list of what you need out of a relationship and whether those needs are being met. "When I met Graham and decided to get involved with him, I sat down with a piece of paper and I wrote pros and cons.

I was in my 30s at that point, and I said 'Hmm, you know, this is what I want.' And this guy had those qualities — many more good ones than bad ones."By that time in my life, I was awake to what I needed.

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